Feeling Home – Unpacking the Expat Heart

Travelling is great in many aspects. One of them—probably the least known, as it’s not about where you’re going, but where you’re at—is assessing how you relate to your residence. How much do you crave fresh air? Will you miss your daily surroundings? Not necessarily your noisy neighbours, but something—something so discreet that it is even a silent secret to yourself—in your mundane routine.

Much like my previous trip, part of me is not so happy to leave for a while. I have mixed feelings. And no, I am not saying mixed feelings in the way we occasionally tend to do when we avoid giving emphasis to the event that annoys us. This is recent to me. In fact, I only began to experience it in 2021 upon returning to Ireland. It was when I first called the country "home," which is perhaps the greatest compliment a country can hear from an expat.

Reflecting on the two different periods I’ve spent here, perhaps I already had that vague sensation of home at Dublin Airport. Surely it wasn’t as strong. Ah, it was a sensation, not a feeling. A sensation is usually created by the environment; a feeling occurs when you absorb it and let it happen in an open and melted heart.

Speaking of the heart. There is a silly saying out there preaching to people that ‘home is where your heart is’. That’s just a cliché to put in an Instagram caption, along with making a heart with your hands in front of a gorgeous landscape (likely a sunny seaside).

Feeling at home is far harder. You probably have a connection to a certain place, click with a particular culture, and almost believe you belong there (and you may in some sense). But you need to be (not feel!) welcome and integrated. And that requires a mutual effort on your side and on the natives of the nation you have moved to. That’s Ireland. You’ll be in the picture. You’ll be active in your community affairs. Or maybe you deliberately decided not to, as many Irish people do. And that’s fine too.

Nomads might call their errands home. Again, that’s fine. Home is a concept that does not need to be materialised in a specific space. Home can be that ‘intangible tent’ that you take with you wherever you go. Just have a home, or an area that you can refer to as a habitat—that fertile field where you know you will grow, and you may well know why you do.

I have a good friend who is a sailor and whose home is—not surprisingly—the sea. For many years he didn’t have a house key as he was on the water most of his life. I used to call him ‘the man without the house key’.

Hope to see him next week in Barcelona, the city where my expatriate saga all began. Will also be hanging out in Cork for a few days, then back to Dublin. I owe the Rebel County the first time I felt at home in Éire. Can already anticipate loads of travel topics to talk about from revisiting Barcelona and Cork.

Bye for now!